As Summer Sets

A look back at an unprecedented summer & a glance towards the awesome autumn ahead.

Presenting a post in three parts—first, where I’ve been. Second, where I’m at. Third, where I’m going. Let’s see if you can hang in there for all three.

WHERE I’VE BEEN

To put it mildly, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown.

Another hospital visit (my third in the last calendar year for those not keeping track) in June sent me spiraling into an extremely depressive episode that if I’m being honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to make it to the other side of. I ran into a wall when trying to speak to someone regarding mental health when I was in the hospital, but was met with abject dismissal. This led me to jumping into research the minute I got home and was on the mend, because I knew if I didn’t talk to someone soon, things might get dire.

I can look back at it now, proud as hell of myself for having the insight to seek help when I did, because the resulting month and some change of therapy feels like it has foundational shifted some things within me. Being out on short term disability from my job to seek care, both for my mental health and my chronic leg wound, hasn’t been easy. Digging up past traumas in order to finally face them has gotten a bit harrowing at times, but I’m starting to feel the positive ripples of working through my past in order to exist more joyously in the present.

WHERE I’M AT

Right now? It is 6:30am and I’m taking a quick break from working on Chapter Two of the sequel to STILL THE STARS to write this post.

More generally speaking, I feel like I’m in the midst of a personal renaissance. I still have a few months worth of being on leave to heal my leg/continue with my intensive mental health treatment, but I am finding my footing at last for this time away from work. It’s giving me much needed time to rest, reset my heart, and replenish my soul.

It’s also given me an exciting amount of time with which to devote to creative endeavors, which has meant an obscene amount of new poetry, some actual progress on piecing together a memoir I’ve long wanted to focus on, AND diving back into Alteria. I didn’t realize how much I missed that world until I was immersed in it again. I’ve missed writing in Piper’s voice so much.

Another piece to this personal creative resurgence has been due to a creative challenge I have been doing now for the past four weeks. It comes from a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and it was recommended to me by two different people in my therapy group as a good book to read when you’re feeling blocked. Starting therapy had me feeling more blocked artistically than I have felt in a long time, because I knew I was going to have to do so much emotional labor.

But I found myself falling into a groove with it. I have handwritten at least a page in my journal every day for the past 30 days. I have started new short stories and written an embarrassment of new poems. I’m finally making progress on this second book that makes a completed draft feel close at hand.

I’m experiencing a rebirth I didn’t know I could still have, and it’s been incredible.

WHERE I’M GOING

The coming Fall is pretty stacked in a lot of ways. I have an author event coming up soon (a reading at Fergie’s Pub in Philly!), a convention in DC to go to my birthday weekend (where I’ll be meeting my favorite actor of all time, Jensen Ackles), and plans are in motion to ready for the tour next year (you can learn more here)! There’s also of course, the remainder of this Artist’s Way challenge (which runs for eight more weeks).

I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention an elephant in the writing room—my departure from NaNoWriMo. If I am 100% honest, I’ve written about a dozen different versions of my break-up with NaNo blog post, but the hurt is still heavy on watching yet another staple of my upbringing be unraveled by bad actors, and shitty people making shitty decisions for the communities they were meant to serve.

The short version is that while I think I will always be writing a book during November—I’ve been doing it for twenty of my thirty four years at this point—I will not be actively participating in anything NaNoWriMo does going forward. It’s a long story I’m sure I will get deeper into when I have the spoons to do so, but for now, all I’ll say is that if you’re a writer looking for a way to engage the writing community this fall that has nothing to do with that crumbled organization, please reach out. My fellow Philly organizers are making plans.

I also happen to turn 34 this month, so I’m looking so forward to whatever surprises these last two weeks of Virgo season holds for me. And! The Fall edition of the Elixir Verse Equinox drops on the first day of Autumn, September 22nd! More details on how to order that are forthcoming soon.

Thank you if you’ve read this far into this long overdue check in. I am really thrilled to write more in the coming season about all the exciting things in my writerly life and beyond. Sending love to all who read these words, and may what’s left of summer be kind to you.

---

---

Featured photos by Elayna Mae Darcy © 2024